Every Day I'm Hustling Page 11

  Because I am so punctual, that trickles down so that the people who work with me know they have to be punctual, too. Or else they won’t be working with me. If I am going to be late, I am the person who will let you know where I am at—“Hey, can I get another fifteen minutes?”—because I respect other people’s time. Nothing pisses me off more than somebody who is constantly late.

  I take that back. I hate laziness more. I have a tremendous work ethic and I try to inspire that in the people I hire. I had a makeup artist who I gave an opportunity of a lifetime to work on a show with me. We went on hiatus, but I had several photo shoots lined up to promote the show. Mind you, she was getting paid for this work, but I wasn’t because I was doing it for the show.

  As I was telling her the schedule, she made a face. “Are we ever going to get any time off?” she said.

  I looked at her for a second. “Sure,” I said. “When your check stops coming, you’re going to sho’ nuff get some time off. Sound good?”

  When you want to expand your brand beyond just one job, you have to change your definition of “time off.” I look at people like Beyoncé and Jennifer Lopez—when you’re in the music industry and trying to make movies, you work all the time. I find that around Christmastime, no one works. I rest then.

  I’m not saying you can’t have a life, but you got to strike while the iron’s hot.

  Rule 5: Know your brand’s worth.

  You’re going to have to get past any squeamishness about negotiating deals or asking for raises. Just do it intelligently. First of all, I know my worth, but I’m not a bitch. It’s an unfortunate reality that men can go about asking for things differently, but it’s getting better. However, a woman can and should put her foot down, and say, “Hey, we’re entitled to equal pay.” We’re only finding it out now in Hollywood. “Oh, shit? For years we weren’t getting paid the same as guys? And we were doing the same amount of work?” They keep it secret on purpose, and since we get so hung up talking about money, it stays hidden. I think it’s so important that we talk about this and expose it so that we can have equality. Jennifer Lawrence wrote a powerful essay about it for Lena Dunham’s Lenny newsletter after she found out “lucky people with dicks” like Bradley Cooper got a bigger payday for costarring in Silver Linings Playbook. “I didn’t get mad at Sony,” she wrote. “I got mad at myself. I failed as a negotiator because I gave up too early.”

  It was my manager, Lita, who clued me in on reading the fine print. I remember we were doing a deal I was so excited about, and I just wanted to get the negotiation part over with so I could show I was a team player.

  “Okay, we’ve got to start paying attention,” Lita told me.

  “Let’s sign the contract and let’s go.”

  “Just so you know, it’s probably going to take me a few days to read it.”

  “What?” I said. “Just look at the dollars and the cents and then sign it.”

  “No, Vivica,” she said. “Nope, nope, nope. I want you to know everything you are signed up for and what you are entitled to.”

  I appreciate her doing that. Don’t be afraid to know your worth and what you should be paid. And there are some jobs you know as an actress that if it’s an independent project, the paycheck is going to be different. If it is a project that you know is going to be special, then make that choice. But if it’s a franchise, then you need to benefit from the full rewards of what your work has done. You have to show you are aware that the reason they are making a sequel is you.

  Never be afraid to ask for a raise, but be smart about how you do it. If the company is successful and everyone is doing good and smiling, go for it. You know when your company ain’t doing well, trust me. If you see other people kind of getting promotions and you’re doing all the hard work, you’ve got to sit down and have a discussion and not be afraid to say, “I’m doing a lot of work…” just to make sure you’re not being taken advantage of. And if you feel like you are, make a plan B and keep it moving.

  Rule 6: Learn from “No.”

  You have the opportunity to learn from every experience, even negative ones. When you are told no—whether it’s not getting a job or not winning over a client—examine the lesson. When I don’t get a role I thought I was right for, I ask myself why. Was I ready? Did I prepare myself? Did I show up with a good attitude? Then I look at the person who did get the job. Sometimes it’s the type. I might have been too damn tall. They might have wanted someone who had a different look than I have. And that’s okay. Because everything is not for you. And I find that if you have more grace, you learn. That gig wasn’t for me.

  Feel free to ask for pointers from the people who gave you that no. Assure them that you’re not asking anybody to change his or her mind, but merely want to see what you could do differently in the future. You will at least profit from the knowledge.

  LESSON SEVEN

  REMEMBER HOW TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

  I know, I know, “TGIF” stands for “The Grind Includes Friday.” But I want you to keep your sanity, too. Your soul needs replenishing while you’re doing all this work. So remember that your squad is not just for networking. I am blessed to have a close circle of friends who cheer me on and cheer me up. You also need to avoid becoming so laser-focused on your goals that you ignore your friends.

  If I am not on location or traveling, Sunday is usually my day of rest and recharge. (And it just happens to be my cheat day when I am dieting!) Years back, I became famous in my circle for hosting my Football Sundays. I started inviting people to come over for tacos and mimosas, and to watch football.

  Football Sundays had a family feel, like an old-fashioned block party back in Indy. Sit wherever, and if you need anything, help yourself. I’d always have a game on, and I gave shy people jobs so they’d warm up and have something to talk to people about. The only requirement for an invite was that I liked you, so the crowd was naturally diverse, with friends from all parts of my life. Some were Hollywood folk, some owned their own businesses, and some were just cool people. And yes, it was an opportunity for people to make business connections with people they wouldn’t usually be sharing a meal with. I know there were some love connections made at my Taco Sundays, too.

  This routine gathering worked so well for me because I could spend quality time with a lot of people at once. When you’re busy, you hear a lot of “We need to catch up” and “We need to do lunch.” You could drown in those needs because you and I know that you eat through lunch and work until midnight. Setting a reliable time in your calendar to get your circle together is a great way to check in on them and make sure you have a set time to recharge with fellowship.

  People sometimes want to host gatherings but think they have to impress people with elaborate and extravagant meals. They work themselves to the bone, waste a lot of money, and don’t have a good time. Their guests don’t either. They stand there awkwardly, worriedly offering to help, and then can’t have a real conversation until they are in the car saying, “Never again!” It’s better to have a simple gathering and understand that you and the good people you invite are the draw. The food and the price tag are completely secondary to the luxury of friendship.

  You don’t need a big place either. I know a young woman in New York who has a group of about five or six friends who meet every two months for something they call Champagne & Chipotle. Whoever’s turn it is to host orders the burritos, and each guest just has to bring an inexpensive bottle of prosecco—or a nice bottle of champagne if they’re doing well! What’s great is that they all started at the same ad agency, and each has gone on to other places, and one has even started her own agency. They can compare notes and experiences with people who have their backs.

  Another cool way for people to gather to talk when you’re minding a budget is choosing a restaurant where everyone pays their own way. Upscale cafeteria-style restaurants are becoming increasingly popular, and they help you avoid the six separate checks or, worse, the dreaded math of “Well
, you had a cappuccino…” Because not everyone has a Vivica to pick up the check for the group. Remember, your Vivica doesn’t want to always be picking up the check either.

  I eventually hung up my hosting sombrero and started doing more laid-back Sundays with a few of my girls. I can plan the ultimate girls’ night if I need to, but I prefer to have girls’ days. If we’re really doing it up, we start the day at a spa, but no matter what we always do brunch. I like a restaurant near my house. It has beautiful views and plenty of televisions so we can watch the game. I could watch football all day. Seriously, you can have breakfast food, take a breather, have some lunch food, and then watch sports. I tell my girls, “Let’s get together and just hang. Have a bottle of Chardonnay and watch these boys in these tight white pants run around and be athletic.”

  I order huevos rancheros with a side of bacon if I’m not being too careful. And definitely fresh-squeezed orange juice. Don’t give me no concentrated, because once you have fresh-squeezed orange juice, there’s no going back. The only way I’ll drink concentrated is if I can kill it with champagne!

  *   *   *

  Birthdays are very important to me, and for the past few years I have celebrated the occasion with a trip to Montego Bay on the north coast of Jamaica. It’s the only place I can go to relax. I just have a special thing with the blue of the water there. I want a beach where I can watch the sunset, have a drink, and be thankful.

  I like to bring my family and best friends, because it’s part of sharing my success. I love that the Lord has afforded me the luxury that I can take my friends and family. They say, “Girl, how much?” And I am like, “I got you.” I work hard so I can play even harder and have some of my loved ones share in the fun.

  I love to see my sister, Sug, bloom in Jamaica. It’s a small way to pay her back for all the responsibility she had to have taking care of us Fox kids when she was little. She was reluctant at first because she is light-skinned and growing up she didn’t really like the sun so much. She skipped the first trip, but once she saw how much fun we were having, she called me.

  “I am not being left ashore next year!” she said. Sure enough, she was in for the following year. “I’m gonna have me a good time.”

  Oh, and she does. I remember once looking around saying, “Where’d Sugie go?”

  “Hieeee,” I heard. She was at the hotel bar, just loving life. “This is the best!” she yelled.

  “No, you are!” I said.

  As you grow more successful, you’ll want to share that joy with the people who have given you joy. I see some girls make it and there’s a diva selfishness that poisons them and their relationships: “I’m here and I’m not sharing this space with anybody.” It always bothers me when I see girls who have that kind of energy. You want to tell them, “Sister, just so you know, they’re gonna use you for so long, and then they’re gonna use you up. If you have ostracized yourself from everybody—people gonna remember that.”

  They say it’s lonely at the top? Well, honey, it can be even lonelier when your time is over and you haven’t shared any of your blessings. Then who will share their blessings with you?

  LESSON EIGHT

  TURN YOUR HATERS INTO CONGRATULATORS

  We live in a comment culture now. Social media means that everyone can say anything they want and there’s no time to worry about feelings.

  If something is off, they will let your ass know immejiately on Instagram. Not immediately. Immejiately. When something ain’t working, they comment: “No no no no no. Hell no. What were you thinking? No, ma’am.”

  I like that they are candid and straight with me, but sometimes I want to say, “Ain’t your mama ever taught ya that if you ain’t got nothing nice to say, don’t say nothing at all?” Not these kids. Nope. And then you go to their pages and, surprise, they’re private.

  The other night I thought I slayed them at a premiere in my black leather Versace dress and Versace heels. I have been taking risks with color, so I went with this long fuchsia hair that I loved. I got a great response at the party, but when I posted a picture, some girl commented: “You just fucked yourself up trying to look young.”

  I can usually take it, but I wondered what about my outfit, which was in no way scandalous, said that I was trying to look too young? I’ll own it—I looked good. Then I realized that they just don’t think a fifty-something woman should be allowed to feel beautiful. Or maybe even exist. They used to put all us actresses out to pasture, but here we are. And I also thought, You’re just jealous because you can’t afford this dress. I blocked the girl, and I couldn’t pick her out of a lineup to save my life.

  As you become the person you are meant to be, people will want to drag you down because they are jealous. Whether it’s the success in your career or your love life, they will covet what you have. If they can’t take success and its trappings from you, they want to steal the joy that success gives you. Take it as a compliment. A hater is actually a congratulator, pointing out your riches. “Who does she think she is?” is the only way their minds can reconcile this fear: “She must think she’s better than me, because I think she is better than me.”

  This chapter is about troubleshooting the relationships in life and business that success can sometimes complicate.

  1. Take off your Captain Save-a-Ho cape.

  Understand that a lot of people will have a hand out once you make it. As I started reaping the rewards of my hard work, there were some people who felt they were entitled to a share in the profits. I have to warn you, once people know you can pay your own bills, some want you to pay theirs. I cannot stress this enough: Don’t do it.

  It took me a long time to learn that I had to take off my Captain Save-a-Ho superhero cape. I used to say, “Oh, you need a new car?” “Oh, you need ten thousand dollars?” And I would never see any of it come back. They would be like, “Oh, she’s making money. She doesn’t need it.”

  Three years ago I took off my Captain Save-a-Ho cape. I had to, because everybody was sucking and dragging my nipples down to the damn ground. I was providing for others and not getting anything back. I wasn’t even getting back gratitude. But I still slip. I helped a friend of mine get a car. I was her cosigner, and I ended up having to make four or five payments for her. The other day, this lady creditor called me, super polite. “Miss Fox, she only owes seven hundred more dollars,” she said. “She’s sixty days’ delinquent.”

  She told me that because it was out of state I could only pay cash. So I went to the bank and got the money. Do you know who has called me to say thank you? The freaking creditor. “I just want you to know the loan is paid in full, Miss Fox,” she said. “No more problems. You won’t be hearing from us again. Thank you for making sure that whenever we needed to let you know that the loan was falling behind that you always responded and you helped us out. I wish you the best.” Did my friend wish me the best? NO!

  Another friend, this one from high school, called me and said that she wanted her daughter to try something from my hair line and asked if I could also send a dress. I tell you, now that I’ve got a clothing line and a hair line, people think I’m just sitting around in a house full of wigs and gowns. Vivica Claus with boxes and boxes in my garage! Um, no. But I didn’t tell her that. I went to a store to buy the hair for the weave and picked out an outfit—you know I like to see what the customer experiences when they buy my products. The hair alone was $138, and on top of that the FedEx bill was $40.

  A week went by. Do you know I had to text her to ask if she got the package? “Oh yeah,” she said. “I have been meaning to thank you.”

  Bitch, all you had to do was text.

  And so I resolved to stop having nonreciprocal relationships. I am a good friend, and I want my loved ones to be able to ask me for help when they fall on hard times. But if you find yourself being around people where all the time it’s hard for them? And they ain’t doin’ nothin’ for you? You might want to think twice about that relationship.
What are you in it for? Give them a time-out. It’s not just about money. You can make more money. It’s about your time, your care, your love.

  When you get older, you learn that what Maya Angelou said was exactly right: When people show you who they are, believe them. I’m in my damn fifties and I only recently learned this about friendship. I owe this lesson to my wonderful assistant Darren. One day I was at my house with him, fuming about someone being ungrateful about a loan I knew would never be returned. I went on and on and then he suddenly stopped me.

  “Vivica,” he said, “you don’t have to pay people to be your friend.”

  “I don’t do that,” I said.

  “Yes, you do,” he said. “You think you’re giving them what they need, but you’re just giving them what they want. All they should really need is your friendship.”

  It sounds so simple, but it was a real revelation. I remember resting my chin on my palm and really giving it a think.

  “And is it friendship if you do for them,” he asked, “and then you get mad and run around cussin’? Just don’t do for them then.”

  My palm went from my chin to cover my eyes. How many times had my true friends sat through these tales of ungrateful people? I could have been talking about the great person in front of me, not the ungrateful person who had disappointed me. Not only was I out that money, I let them steal joy from my time with other people.

  I believe in you. You’re reading this book because you want to invest in your future. I have to caution you that when you become a success, you will be a target for lazy people. They see that someone just handed you a million dollars. They don’t realize that there are taxes, agents, overhead … I see some people in my profession develop expensive habits right away. Like diamonds and cars and parties and groupies and hangers-on. And the next thing you know, you’re broke. And where’s your next million dollars?